Trans Ontology

It’s a great tragedy that the overwhelming majority of trans activism comes coupled with an ontology that not only doesn’t match to the realities of the trans experience but also cuts us off from both our own rich history and sets us up as walking targets for backwards thinking without any kind of significant response meanwhile ignoring the powerful and historically significant ontologies of our trans ancestors which would go to not only empower us but completely reverse the tides which are so far solely against us. Trans activism could be the straw that destroys the entire camel of prejudicial monotheisms but instead it’s so caught up in clinging to the ideologically unsound ideally of hyper-materialist ontological metaphysics which not only leave us without an accurate description that maps the trans experience but also leaves us directly vulnerable to assault not only from those who would ally with Yaltabaoth to do harm against us but also those who reject their own soul for the sake of a hyper-mechanical ontology which is a piss-poor map for the complex subtilities of human experience.

We should be actively engaged in transforming the entire landscape of thought by proposing an ontology that more closely maps to the reality of our experiences and with it can be an entire for change not only in the trans experience but the whole of the human condition on a global scale. We’re a movement with amnesia which I can’t help but wonder if it is externally imposed so as to keep us from being a threat to the very foundations of the illusion they have created to maintain control and dominance over humanity.

We’re busy running a defensive game with a defensive playbook with massive holes in it when we have star players on our side and a offensive playbook that’s got the best plays ever invented in it and we’re losing. Why aren’t we smacking this nonsense in the face and calling it at its bluff? We’ve got an ace in the hole and they’ve got nothing but 2’s. We were the high priestesses of the ancient world that created the hanging gardens of Babylon using bronze age technology. It’s time we started to act like it. Especially when you consider the height of their rule created the Christian dark ages and the destruction of the library at Alexandra.

Ontology and Gnosis

Do not point your finger at the gods because you allow yourselves to be decieved by the Archon-cast shadows on the walls of Plato’s cave while they rob you blind of your Divine spark of Sophia which she gave you to make use of, not deny. To claim Gnosis as foolishness whole you cling to the slowly eroding ejaculate-pile of the Empire is irony in the highest. Truly in such times, it is the greatest fool who denies the self. Materialism has no solve for consciousness and never will have because materialism is a false-ontology built of a failed presupposition.

The fact is, all you can truly know exists is yourself, not this illusory material world which seems to stop existing the moment you look away. (And if you would deny this, ask the likes of Michio Kaku)

In truth, any ontology that does not focus first on the self, on that intrinsic spark of inner-knowing, must be a false one since all external input drives from a source that is ultimately unreliable.

So to tell an undying soul which carries the spark of the gods that she is nothing but the chemicals that supposedly make up the matter which may not even exist is absurd. The fact is, all your analysis, all your data, all your tools, all your measurements, all of it which you call science, must ultimately pass through the subjective to be interpreted by the consciousness that the material would suggest isn’t even there reading this very sentence. So any ontology or presupposition which does not first start there is truly the height of foolishness.

After all, it isn’t the material which tells me I am a woman, it is my inner sense of self-gnosis and that has proven to be immovable no matter how much they may try to change my chemical makeup. In fact, they have to change my chemical makeup to match my inner Gnosis or I become ultimately non-functional in this plane. If that isn’t evidence that we are more than mere chemicals then I know not what could.

The Dream Classification Chart

Throughout my life I’ve had a number of different kinds of dreams. This is my attempt at trying to classify them in an attempt to better understand them.

Level 1. Impression dream: left with only a vague impression of a concept where I feel there’s more but I can’t put my finger on it, these tend to fade quickest
Level 2. Narrative dream: feels like watching a movie, there’s a story playing out, most often this kind of dream will be the kind of dream that holds information if interpreted
Level 3. Lucid dream: I’m aware in the dream and I know that I’m dreaming
Level 4. Multilayered dream: I wake up from one dream into another more lucid dream often the only way to know if I’m dreaming is to do reality checks
Level 5. Hypnogogic experiences: while the experience is happening, I can’t tell what a dream and what’s reality. I often have to do multiple reality checks upon waking to be sure I’m awake (sometimes one or many of them would suggest I’m awake when I’m actually still dreaming)
Level 6. WTF dream: my dream seems more real than my walking life after I wake up. These are the kind of dreams that make me question my very concept of reality.

Strange Lumberjack Man Sleep Paralysis

Last night I had a weird sleep paralysis episode featuring what I’ve come to understand is generally called the lumberjack man. Here is what I recorded when I woke up about it.

I dreamed I was editing a yard with something like the open sim editor floating above it. Then I went inside the house/apartment and talked to someone about playing some kind of game. Then I was editing those trees again and turning the needles of a pine tree more blueish. Then I started drawing some lichens that were on the tree on some paper. Then I had some of the lichens in my hand and I had the impression they were sentient so I started taking to it. Nothing happened so I gave up and tried to go to bed. The house was like a larger version of my apartment but with the kitchen in an area leading to the bathroom instead. I closed my eyes to sleep and thought I saw someone. I sat up and turned on my phone’s flashlight and saw my freezer door close and then a man peaked around the corner. He had a beard and was wearing red flannel. I tried to say something to him but found I couldn’t speak. Then I woke up with a start. When I realized I really was awake I felt the need to sit up and check that I locked the door to my apartment. I had. I laid back down and tried to go back to sleep for awhile but I couldn’t fall back asleep. Then my alarm went off. I hear people arguing outside. It is a fullmoon.

I would classify this as a level 4.5 dream.

Gnosticism and Wicca

One might think, on the surface of things, that Wicca and Gnosticism have nothing to do with each other. In terms of lineage, origin and time they emerged this is certainly true. However, when we look past all those kind of superficial things, we start to realize that in fact they have a lot in common.

Firstly, both traditions emerged from practical esotericism and spirit conjuration. Wicca came from a combination of the western magical traditions plus a bit of ceremonial magic and herbalism and a dash of theatrics in an era when fear of witches was starting to decline and anti-witchcraft laws had finally begun to fall off the books. Gnosticism emerged in ancient Roman-occupied Judea. Both involve spirit contact and practice of rituals, spirit contact, séances and magic.

More interestingly though, Wicca and Gnosticism both have very similar worldviews with the biggest differences being the shape of their respective creation myths and how they answer for the existence of evil in the world.

In traditional Wicca, there is a transcendent divine being that makes up all of creation and all things are emanated from it and to it all things will eventually return, which is often called The All, the Source, Dryghten or a whole host of other names. Then emanated from that are two gods, the divine feminine and divine masculine, generally referred to as simply the goddess and god. These gods further emanate down into the all the various gods and goddesses Wiccans interact with and wear those forms as sort of masks for us to interact with since we can’t comprehend the fullness of the gods. The goddess and god are dual-natured, encompassing all the negative and positive traits of their roles and what they represent in the universe. Wiccans simply choose only to focus on and interact with the positive side of the deities but recognize that both sides exist. Wiccans then contact the spirits to guide them through life, perform magic and help them on their spirit journeys. Wiccans generally believe in reincarnation which serves as a way to make slow incremental improvements to a soul which with to ascend that soul up the sacred spiral and eventually rejoin The Source.

In Gnosticism there is also a transcendent divine being that makes up all of creation which is usually called ABRAXAS which isn’t so much a name but rather is an acronym of the names of the seven classical planets in Greek. Then emanated from that are a number of Aeons which varies from text to text but the most major player is Sophia, or Wisdom, who creates a shadow being without the involvement of her sygyzy, often called Yaltabaoth or The Demiurge, that creates the world for him to rule as a god. This being then proceeds to create the world and humanity to rule. Sophia then takes pity on humanity and grants them a spark of the divine that they can use to transcend the imperfect creation and ascend the sacred spiral to eventually rejoin The Pleroma and become one with ABRAXAS.

So as you can see, the systems, though different, share a lot of common ground. I find both systems useful to focus on in different aspects of my spiritual journey and this has ultimately lead to my creating a sort of hybrid system that bridges the two into a single system that I call Gnostic Wicca which has become the map of the spirit world I use in my personal spiritual practice.

In my new system it generally follows the same system as the Wiccan one although with a single change, that the material plane is ruled by the shadow which is the ultimate form of the shadow of all things and that it is a part of our goal as spiritual beings to transcend the shadow in order to be a more perfect spiritual being and ascend the sacred spiral and eventually rejoin The Source. I find this map very useful in deciding what actions to take and what to consider in my journey.

Ultimately though, I think all maps have some merit and serve to highlight different aspects of the spiritual domain and it’s important not to get hung up on any map because at the end of the day they are all just maps. These maps are useful metaphors but shouldn’t be taken as the literal truth.

To borrow a quote from Gordon White, “Don’t confuse the map for the territory.”

There’s clearly a lot more that could be said on this subject but this will do for today.

Who Am I?

In response to the prompt “Who are you? Answer without a name, a job or nationality.” I wrote this little passage which I was particularly proud of and felt bore repeating here. I feel this is a far more accurate portrayal of who I am than any of the superficial boxes people generally put each other in.

I am she who is a light unto those who she can be. I am she who is not perfect but seeks always to improve. I am she who knows many things, but seeks ever to learn more. I am she who is lover to some, family to some, friend to others and odd stranger to many. I am she who channels the ancient ones and listens to their secrets. I am she who delights in the changing of seasons but complains about the weather. I am lover of animals. I am she who sings to the owls. I am she who hugs the trees. I am she who pets the bushes and grasses like they are a puppy. I am she who loves learning. I am she who reads many books and collects many more. I am she who creates many things. I am she. I am. I am me.

Excerpts from The Temple Page

Excerpts from The Temple Page

Selected excerpts I write from another page I run.

The goddess stands before you beckoning “Be open to me oh ye weary children.” The secrets of the gnosis within long to be unlocked by the sacred key of the divine. Will you take the path of the goddess? Will you descend into the depths of Irkalla and be brought back to life renewed, with the light of the beacon within lit, and discover your Divine Will which is stamped in your soul?

The number of the awoken is growing. More and more have begun to peek behind the veil and see the secrets of Gnosis beyond. It is encouraging to see!

They who twist the words of the divine for their own ends, to cast fear into the hearts of men, they are but the root of darkness.

The agents of shadow live in lavish luxury while we squabble with our neighbor over scraps.
Focus not on statues, for these are but icons alone, focus instead on the seeds of hatred within which defend them.

Cursed are those who cling to icons of hate and ignorance. Cursed are those who would waste their time with images when there is work to be done. Cursed are those who would turn their backs on the path of righteousness. Cursed be those who judge without knowing. Cursed be those who deny the truth that is set before them. Cursed be those who would cling to that which will not survive their soul. Progress is made only when we forget ourselves and follow but our Devine Will. You who cling to icons alone, you who would assume all knowledge, you who waste your time trying to destroy the idols of others but waste not an ounce of time on the seed of ignorance that is within feeding the flames of evil. You do nothing. You accomplish nothing. Your efforts will not outlive you.

If you’re not enjoying life, you’re doing it wrong. Frolic through the hallways, say hello to birds, dance in the sunlight and sing some magick words.

If you are not actively serving as a beacon of light, then you are opening yourself up as a vessel for shadow. Banish the shadow within you and illuminate the beacon within that you may be a guide to others and a source of positive change within the world and yourself.

Start a garden and grow your own food. Live close to nature. Know the cycles of the gods like your ancestors did.

Not fallen, descended that she may walk among the worlds of men as one among them; a holy whore! Inanna, holy cow of heaven! Priestess of the forsaken, lover of the forgotten and dysphoric! Who stands greatest among the foes of Jehovah and his evil? She who he has feared from the beginning, Asherah! His lies and deceit banished by her holy scroll of wisdom! Samael the fool quivers with fear at the sight of her! Goddess Inanna who commands the wisdom of Enki, who holds the sword of Horus blazing slashing and illuminating the ignorance among men! She who is Athena, Astarte, and Aphrodite in one! She who stands before you naked and beckoning “Come and drink from the sacred cup filled with the holy forbidden fruit of knowledge! Take your fill of me and know me! I am like a lover among you and I stand for you, leading you into battle and into my arms and my womb.” Hark! Athena has risen! Risen now is Babalon the great! Risen now is Inanna, morning star in the heavens and child of the moon! Hear her words! Let her fill you with her love and teach you get secrets of sorcery, of science and of wisdom! She has come! Follow her!

Hurrah hurrah! The age of Inanna has come! Ishtar! Astarte! Spohia! Babalon! The dawn of the new age has come! She gives birth to the golden calf of heaven, the conquering child of the sun; Marduk the slayer of dragons has come again in the new age! See the signs in the heavens and rejoice for the old order will be destroyed to make way for the new way of things in the birthing of a new pagan age! Goddess be praised! Hurrah!

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll eat until overfishing destroys the fish population and he is left again in want. Teach a man that the fish are not his enemy, and he’ll have seaweed enough to last generations.

A message to those who make war:
To those who have done evil in the name of evil, why have you done this? You will never through evil convince a man who is good to follow the path of evil.
To those who have done evil in the name of good, why have you done this? You will never through evil convince a man who is evil to follow the path of good.