Goals and Aspirations

There’s a lot of talk about goals and aspirations but few people really sit down and work out exactly what world there’d like to live in if everything was right in the world. What would the ideal life look like?

Most people would probably unthinkingly answer “I want to be rich” but rarely does that come with really thinking about what that looks like. People with money are generally constantly on the edge about their money. Worried that some day they won’t have it.

To quote the Tao Te Ching, The house that is full of Jade and jewels cannot be guarded.

Even worse, if you become rich in isolation of those around you, you might suddenly find yourself alone with nobody to share your new world with, just like what happened to the creator of Minecraft.

Some people take this a step further and realize they would be happier with everyone in their community becoming rich together so they start having dreams of communism but once again they don’t really think this all the way through. Communism is based on a paradigm of working. You may have equal wealth but that comes with equal endless work because that’s the structure of society as it is. We already don’t need to work except to keep the system happy. Most jobs in first world countries are unnecessary. They exist to keep people employed because the system is designed to keep people working and struggling merely to keep the current power structure in place.

But what if there was a better way? Permaculture is the science of using the way nature already works to grow a literal forest of food in your own backyard. Imagine walking out your back door and having all the food you’d ever need.

But again there’s problems if this is alone your solution. Sure, now you don’t have to work just to avoid starvation but now you have a lot of people with nothing to do and no idea how to be without the power structures in place because they’ve spent their entire lives focused on survival in those power structures. So now they’re just going to start fights over stupid things like religion.

Of course there’s a solution to this as well but it requires a major paradigm shift. People need to embrace, on their own without coercion, a belief system that changes how they see themselves and the world around them in a fundamental way. Most of the world’s religions were created in response to the existing power structures so they don’t offer any real solutions on that front and in the case of monotheism actually make the problem worse. One only has to consider the period of violent forced conversations that every monotheistic religion has gone through at its birth to realize this.

And no, materialism doesn’t work either because it was created solely to serve the empire and isn’t actually reflective of how reality works. Go read fringe physics or the current major problem faced by the “placebo effect” in biology for examples of this. The Victorian era created materialist model most scientists are working in simply by convention and threat of losing their funding if they rock the boat simply does not actually reflect reality.

There is a solution though. One that works perfectly in tandem with the new garden of Eden we would build with permaculture. But for that we have to go back to what humans believed before these power structures were put in place. It’s animism. The idea that spirits are real and everything is a spirit. That’s not everything has a spirit, the concept of ownership as we think of it came with structures of power. No, everything is a spirit.

When you start looking at the world in this way, then everyone’s favorite gods can exist at once because why can’t there be three different gods represented by the sun who can work through solar energy? The pagan religions are generally pretty ok with this idea already. Most modern pagans are already working from an animiat model at least partially without even realizing it. Most pagan religions can easily be happily adapted to fit an animist model, after all they pretty much all ultimately descended from one anyway. Everyone’s gods are real! Why not?

Of course you have to throw away broken old ideas that can’t get along with others. That means the monotheistic religions, including materialsm (which is really just a monotheism that replaced god with some strange inexplicable law of nature that everything supposedly obeys except when it doesn’t) have to go, because they can’t play nice with others the way most pagan religions can, because unlike most pagan religions, they demand exclusivity over reality. They have to be the only truth or they can’t work. In this respect they are ultimately ideas which are infected with Wetiko, that is the mind-virus of endless consumption without consideration, and they therefore fly in the face of the cyclical universe we live in and don’t get along with anyone.

The Ravens Are Watching

The ravens are watching me
A thousand thousand eyes
Green, Orange, Yellow
Glowing, piercing in the night
From dark dead trees above
They’re watching me
Breathless and still
They’re watching me
As I walk through
They’re watching me
They don’t look real
They’re watching me

Raven’s Call

Can you hear the Raven’s call
as she calls out in the morning?
Can you hear the Raven’s call?
Mother nature’s scorning.

Can you hear the Raven’s call
as she sings out sullen warnings?
Can you hear the Raven’s call?
Follow not your plans suborning.

Hurried hopeful that you not fall
Can you hear the Raven’s call?
If her warning hear you null,
it is you she will be mourning


If my divine will to help others and promote a kinder, more compassionate, more harmonious world is but a chain which binds then so be it. I would sooner lock myself in a dungeon for all of eternity than willingly increase the suffering of the innocent in the universe if it can be helped, even for a being as seemingly insignificant as an ant. For we are all a part of The All, and we all share in it equally and the suffering of one is but the suffering of the all. And even if it were not such the case, it would change nothing, for by what right do I have to enact my will on another at their expense? No, truly if it was such the case, I would go willingly and gladly knowing that my incarceration decreased the overall suffering of the universe. May everything I do raise the vibrations of the planet, not lower or hinder them.

Twelve Things to Remember in the New Year

Twelve things to remember in the coming year.

1: All are equal in the eyes of the divine.
2: Your mental health is as important as your physical health; take care of yourself.
3: Your worth is not judged by the size of your bank account.
4: Earthly authority is harm as it is always maintained by violence.
5: Helping others is always a worthwhile cause.
6: Failure is an opportunity to learn.
7: Never discount the elderly, but heed the lessons of the young. For ancient knowledge and fresh perspectives are both but halves of the whole that is the path to wisdom.
8: The greatest crimes of humanity are selfishness and apathy. Greed and gluttony are byproducts of selfishness, and cruelty of apathy.
9: Life should be a constant pursuit of improving oneself for the good of all. To do otherwise is to do a disservice to your own ability for growth and to The All which we are all a part of.
10: To struggle is to gain, but to inflict struggle on another is theft.
11: Respect all life or your life deserves none.
12: Do not confuse convictions with facts.

New Atheist Skepticism

To say there is a burden of proof on a witness is to be unfair. That’s not their job. There job is just to relay their experiences. It’s the job of the skeptic or the researcher to dig further and find out more.

For example, in the case of a crime we never demand the witnesses prove anything. We don’t even demand the defendant prove anything. It’s innocent until proven guilty after all. It falls on the prosecution to meet the burden of proof to prove their actuations.

The New Atheist movement is entirely built on that backwards kind of guilty until proven innocent logic.

“You’re just a liar, a fake, a fraud, until you can prove to me to my satisfaction (a satisfaction you’ll never meet because I get a sick sense of superiority in clinging to this world-view) that what you witnessed really happened.”

It’s absolutely ridiculous, and with things as fringe and unpredictable like ghosts, UFOs and magick, that kind of demand for evidence cannot ever be met since we have no idea how and why these things operate.

It’s like saying to a hiker who says they saw a bear to prove they saw a bear in the woods and show you the bear and prove it’s really a bear. Then if someone gets really adamant and goes out and shoots the bear you say “well some really good Hollywood prop artists can make convincing bear pelts so you’re still a liar.” What kind of backwards nonsensical thinking is that? No! If you want to find the bear YOU need to go out looking for it or at least seek out someone who’s an expert in tracking bears.

Just because a really good stage illusionist can make a convincing fake of some kind of magickal ability doesn’t mean you’ve disproved it, all you’ve proved is you can make a convincing fake. It’s utterly ridiculous to claim anything beyond that unless you can prove that’s really what you’re doing. Just showing how it might be faked doesn’t prove that’s really how they’re doing it.

You’re not being smart, logical or clever by just sticking to your beliefs even in the face of evidence to the contrary while you endlessly move the goal posts. You’ve just crafted a new kind of hierarchal religion but one with a really really bad map that don’t match the complexity of the really around us unless you take off your glasses and squint and ignore all the detail. That’s not a healthy skepticism, that’s just stubbornness.

It’s fair to place a stronger burden of proof on researchers to a point, but that’s not fair to ask of the public and especially not of people who are just coming forward as witnesses. Even at that though, if the researchers meet that burden you’ve placed, you can’t just move the goal post because it doesn’t fit with your preconceived notions as to the nature of reality. At some point it falls on you to pickup the torch and do further research yourself and stop being so lazy and stubborn. That’s the whole part of science that you’re so happy talking about when it helps your views against ideas that you don’t like but you seem to conveniently forget whenever it doesn’t.

Looking back at 2017

If I looked at my 2017 from a purely event-focused perspective it’s been by far my worst, however each and every hardship has forced me to grow as a person and become closer to the person I was meant to be so I can’t really help but feel thankful to the Angel of Geburah which I had called upon which kicked this all off for each and every horrible thing I’ve had to endure because I can see how each and every thing has led me to where I am right now; perfectly positioned to create something wonderful and worthwhile.

Trans Ontology

It’s a great tragedy that the overwhelming majority of trans activism comes coupled with an ontology that not only doesn’t match to the realities of the trans experience but also cuts us off from both our own rich history and sets us up as walking targets for backwards thinking without any kind of significant response meanwhile ignoring the powerful and historically significant ontologies of our trans ancestors which would go to not only empower us but completely reverse the tides which are so far solely against us. Trans activism could be the straw that destroys the entire camel of prejudicial monotheisms but instead it’s so caught up in clinging to the ideologically unsound ideally of hyper-materialist ontological metaphysics which not only leave us without an accurate description that maps the trans experience but also leaves us directly vulnerable to assault not only from those who would ally with Yaltabaoth to do harm against us but also those who reject their own soul for the sake of a hyper-mechanical ontology which is a piss-poor map for the complex subtilities of human experience.

We should be actively engaged in transforming the entire landscape of thought by proposing an ontology that more closely maps to the reality of our experiences and with it can be an entire for change not only in the trans experience but the whole of the human condition on a global scale. We’re a movement with amnesia which I can’t help but wonder if it is externally imposed so as to keep us from being a threat to the very foundations of the illusion they have created to maintain control and dominance over humanity.

We’re busy running a defensive game with a defensive playbook with massive holes in it when we have star players on our side and a offensive playbook that’s got the best plays ever invented in it and we’re losing. Why aren’t we smacking this nonsense in the face and calling it at its bluff? We’ve got an ace in the hole and they’ve got nothing but 2’s. We were the high priestesses of the ancient world that created the hanging gardens of Babylon using bronze age technology. It’s time we started to act like it. Especially when you consider the height of their rule created the Christian dark ages and the destruction of the library at Alexandra.

Ontology and Gnosis

Do not point your finger at the gods because you allow yourselves to be decieved by the Archon-cast shadows on the walls of Plato’s cave while they rob you blind of your Divine spark of Sophia which she gave you to make use of, not deny. To claim Gnosis as foolishness whole you cling to the slowly eroding ejaculate-pile of the Empire is irony in the highest. Truly in such times, it is the greatest fool who denies the self. Materialism has no solve for consciousness and never will have because materialism is a false-ontology built of a failed presupposition.

The fact is, all you can truly know exists is yourself, not this illusory material world which seems to stop existing the moment you look away. (And if you would deny this, ask the likes of Michio Kaku)

In truth, any ontology that does not focus first on the self, on that intrinsic spark of inner-knowing, must be a false one since all external input drives from a source that is ultimately unreliable.

So to tell an undying soul which carries the spark of the gods that she is nothing but the chemicals that supposedly make up the matter which may not even exist is absurd. The fact is, all your analysis, all your data, all your tools, all your measurements, all of it which you call science, must ultimately pass through the subjective to be interpreted by the consciousness that the material would suggest isn’t even there reading this very sentence. So any ontology or presupposition which does not first start there is truly the height of foolishness.

After all, it isn’t the material which tells me I am a woman, it is my inner sense of self-gnosis and that has proven to be immovable no matter how much they may try to change my chemical makeup. In fact, they have to change my chemical makeup to match my inner Gnosis or I become ultimately non-functional in this plane. If that isn’t evidence that we are more than mere chemicals then I know not what could.

The Dream Classification Chart

Throughout my life I’ve had a number of different kinds of dreams. This is my attempt at trying to classify them in an attempt to better understand them.

Level 1. Impression dream: left with only a vague impression of a concept where I feel there’s more but I can’t put my finger on it, these tend to fade quickest
Level 2. Narrative dream: feels like watching a movie, there’s a story playing out, most often this kind of dream will be the kind of dream that holds information if interpreted
Level 3. Lucid dream: I’m aware in the dream and I know that I’m dreaming
Level 4. Multilayered dream: I wake up from one dream into another more lucid dream often the only way to know if I’m dreaming is to do reality checks
Level 5. Hypnogogic experiences: while the experience is happening, I can’t tell what a dream and what’s reality. I often have to do multiple reality checks upon waking to be sure I’m awake (sometimes one or many of them would suggest I’m awake when I’m actually still dreaming)
Level 6. WTF dream: my dream seems more real than my walking life after I wake up. These are the kind of dreams that make me question my very concept of reality.