Do what thou whilt shall be the whole of the law.
I may have grown up assigned male, but I still felt the pressure to plan marriage and kids growing up anyway. Gotta carry on the family name they said. Well, that’s not gonna happen at this point. I’m already passed the point of no return in terms of having children biologically. If I was to decide to have a kid at some point I’d have to adopt or find a surrogate. I’m not at all interested in the later. Adoption is fine though since that was my plan even as far back as when I was still closeted and in denial. I don’t feel right brining a brand new life into this world when there’s so many in need of loving homes and caring parents. No judgement on those who do, this is just about me and my personal feelings. If I did adopt, I would adopt an older kid. Those are the ones who get adopted less so I’d like to make that dream come true for them in my limited capacity I must abide by in the life. Plus I don’t want to deal with that anxiety, drama, and exhaustion of raising a baby. A single puppy is handful enough I can’t imagine having to deal with a human baby. I do not need that much stress and anxiety added to my life.
In any case, my family name isn’t gonna be passed down no matter the circumstance since I’m not interested in trying to adopt without being married first, and when I get married my last name will change anyway. I’m aware that you don’t have to do it that way but that’s the done thing and I don’t want to subject myself to the level of dysphoria is I’d have for not doing that. Plus I just like the idea of sharing a last name with my future husband. I have considered changing my name to include Kindell as an additional middle name so I can keep the name and change it at the same time. I haven’t decided for sure what I want to do on that front and I’ve got time to figure it out. There’s my rush.
I’m not interested in hyphenating my name. That just make it too long and kinda too messy for my tastes. Not knocking those who do, it’s just not for me. Doing it this way would still keep that familial connection while also taking his name like I want. Still, I recognize that considering a future that’s still a ways off is a bit of a waste of time since circumstances change and so do we as time progresses.
In any case, I don’t really want kids at this stage of my life anyway. I’ve long been more interested in living a free life filled with few expectations beyond my own. Plus, I have determined through raising a puppy that I don’t have what it takes to deal with a baby long term at this point in my life. I can barely handle puppy shenanigans at the moment. We’ll just have to wait and see what the future brings I suppose. I hope it’s a nice one.
Love is the law, love under will.
Hopefully,
Vanessa