Here’s the problem with that often cited logical fallacy of “but he’s not a TRUE Christian”.
The expression is not “a few bad apples are really annoying” or “one bad apple makes the others look bad.” It’s “one bad apple SPOILS the bunch.” That’s why farmers get rid of bad apples. They don’t defend bad apples. They don’t give bad apples excuses. They don’t let bad apples represent their farm. They certainly wouldn’t select for them or justify their decay. They throw them out to protect the good ones. They turn them into compost. They make sure that the rot and disease they carry doesn’t come near the good ones and potentially contaminate them.
If these religions want our respect, they need to earn it by showing us they actually care about morality. No more of this shallow moral posturing while gaslighting us about what we see happen with our own eyes. Until they do, it’s perfectly reasonable to assume the whole barrel is spoiled, and the farmer doesn’t care.
If someone is transphobic, homophobic, racist, xenophobic, misogynistic, or espouses any other such barbaric anti-human ideologies, if someone engages in criminal behavior like pedophilia, shows support for exploitation, or preaches fascist rhetoric, you exile them. You make it absolutely clear to them and everyone else that they are unwelcome. You make it unmistakable that they are not part of the group in any way. You go out of your way to make them unable to carry your flag or pretend to be part of your in-group at all. A failure to do this makes you an accomplice. If they really were “not a true Christian”, there would never be any reason to have to jump to justifying it with a logical fallacy in the first place. If they really weren’t, you would have already gone so out of your way to make that clear that there would never have been any doubt in the first place. You would have taken care of it long before any outsider ever heard of it. Your silence tells us the truth of what’s really in your heart. Why do you only care when someone on the outside has to get involved and criticize you over it?
There’s an old Christian hymn that goes “They will know we are Christians by our love.” Well, if that’s the measure, then there’s not a single “true Christian” alive today because the people who carry that flag most prominently do not exhibit love, and the rest seem content to let those bad apples spoil the rest. The whole barrel is spoiled, and the farmer doesn’t care.
“Nice people made the best Nazis. My mom grew up next to them. They got along, refused to make waves, looked the other way when things got ugly and focused on happier things than “politics.” They were lovely people who turned their heads as their neighbors were dragged away. You know who weren’t nice people? Resisters.”
― Naomi Shulman
Note: The phrasing of this was based on a meme I found about police violence, but it applies equally to any in group that defends or excuses their toxic members instead of ousts them with extreme prejudice.