Do what thou whilt shall be the whole of the law.
Sometimes I think allism needs to be classified as a disorder characterized by an inability to communicate clearly, directly, deliberately, and effectively then expecting the other party to be able to read their mind to understand what they really meant. Then when the other party misinterprets their vague double-speak they have a meltdown and act like you’re the problem when they’re the ones not just saying what they mean. If you don’t say what you mean you have no right to act surprised when they can’t read your mind.
Beyond that, there’s also the aspect of them not being able to handle straightforward, direct, clear, and truthful speech. They can’t just accept new information and move on. Instead they think they have to read into it a hostility that may or may not exist but is definitely unimportant. They’ll not acknowledge what you’ve said, just staying silent, and you’re left guessing what they didn’t get and trying to repeat stuff to get a response so you know they heard you. Apparently repeating things is one of the things that can trigger them into this rude silence, which is absurd because you start repeating yourself because you think they didn’t hear you because they didn’t do the polite thing of just acknowledging what you said. If they did, you wouldn’t have to repeat yourself in the first place. They do the exact opposite of what you should do to get someone to stop repeating trying to make sure you heard and understood what they said and took the information in.
Allistics really need to grow a thicker skin. If someone just telling it like it is offends you, that’s on you. You’re the one who can’t take hearing facts. You’re the one who overreacts to information. You’re the problem. Don’t dis on the normal autistic person and pretend it’s their fault you don’t know how to deal with your emotions in a healthy way. Somehow they’ve gotten it so twisted that they think someone having a breakdown or a shutdown is the problem when the actual problem was the people and/or environment around then that caused it. It’s like cornering a dog and screaming at it and then being surprised when it barks and growls. Of course if you point that out to them once you’ve calmed down, they get all defensive as if you just pissed in their cereal.
“People are so used to others being indirect and phony that clear, direct communication appears aggressive.”
-Unknown.
Love is the law, love under will.
Frustrated,
Vanessa