Do what thou whilt shall be the whole of the law.
Part of being an ally is kicking toxic people out of your life. If one of your family members is queerphobic or otherwise discriminatory, then they’re not your family member, they’re an interloper. Reject them! That’s what allies need to start doing to actually make a difference. Don’t tolerate it to keep the peace. Rip a new asshole in the peace if you have to.
Simply being passively accepting isn’t good enough. You gotta socially isolate those who are agents for hatred and discrimination. You gotta fight back. Start arguments, kick people out, make a scene. Family ties be damned.
The paradox of tolerance is ever-present. In order to maintain a tolerant and accepting society, we must never tolerate those who are intolerant or we risk undoing all the progress we’ve achieved. Do not hesitate to do what’s right. Do not hesitate to call them out. Do not hesitate to rebuke them. Do not hesitate to kick them out of your lives forever. To hell with them! This is how we maintain and protect progress. Otherwise, they can erode the bonds that unite us.
Love is the law, love under will.
May the progress remain,
Vanessa