Concerning Mindfulness

Prompted by a friend who’s been taking me to Sangha, I’ve started practicing Buddhist mindfulness in the Plum Village tradition and reading some of Thích Nhất Hạnh’s books. Namely his books on Fear, Anger and the Full Awareness of Breathing. They’ve really helped me with my anxiety. I averted an anxiety attack the other day just by the use of mindfulness of breathing alone, which is a huge step in the right direction.

If only he had a book on the existential horror creeping in from all sides but I suppose that’s where the works of our first guest on the podcast portion comes in. Stay tuned as we delve deep into Philip K. Dick’s Gnosis, Valis and living in a Gnostic world.

Discoveries and Ideas

A collection of things I have discovered following initiation into Keter, many of which came about after being so led to read Valis by Philip K. Dick.

The Trinity is not what people think it is. The third hidden pillar is blind chance: chaos, randomness. It is in a state of inverted was-ness as balance to the was-ness of the divine twins, Jachin and Boaz. It came into being by the error of the mother, believing it would simply stop being I’m a superposition and simply fall into not-was-ness alone but that didn’t happen and error, the third hidden pillar, was created instead being the origin of the error that brought it into being. (Time doesn’t exist and outside perception all time happens at once so cause and effect are effectively meaningless outside perception. Consciousness is perception in motion.) When filtered through Da’at of the Tree of Life, which is that of the Jachin, it becomes synchronicity. When filtered through the Tree of Death, which is that of the Boaz, it becomes the apathetic forces of nature and the solve for why bad things happen to good people.

The ancient Sumerians called the Jachin An and the Boaz they called Ki. Error they called Nammu. The primordial waters they called Abzu. Correctly understood they are all genderless as understood in terms of human gender.

Further, the material world is the forces out of balance, brought on by the divine grief and divine guilt of the Boaz at the previewed perceived death of the mother; Dryghtyn, the Rainbow Snake or Ouroboros or Tiamat, which is in a superposition of was-ness and was-not-ness forever. Da’at in the Boaz is the abyss, the hole that is not really a sphere which is that empty, negative feeling of grief left by love’s loss. Boaz came into being prematurely by blind chance by mistake and as it found itself alone and its world egg having hatched inside the mother, seemingly killing her as it saw only the not-was-ness, blamed itself even though it was an accident. It built the world from its grief in in the memory of the mother and the mind which was meant to be whole, fragmented, which is why the collective unconscious is not the collective conscious.

Jachin upon seeing its sibling so mad, made sick by its grief, began medicating it by sending light energy in the form of information over to medicate it. This is the origin of all positive religious beliefs and understanding.

Boaz’s mental immune system is the Archons, that is Wetiko or The Empire (as Philip K. Dick called it), which has become diseased by the guilt and now has become the equivalent to an autoimmune disease, mistakenly attacking Boaz and the medicine of Jachin, believing in error that they are the real infection.

The material world is the world of the isolated Boaz. The astral world is that of the isolated Jachin.

When the wound of grief that is Da’at was opened, it forced the spheres out of alignment. The sun, which was meant to be in Da’at, got forced where the Moon (which was meant to be the second sun) was meant to be. The moon got forced into where the Earth was meant to be, taking on a shell composed of the Earth’s crust as a result. This is why the moon is hollow. It was supposed to be the binary star. The Earth was forced down below the first veil, which Philip K. Dick called the Black Iron Prison, dividing the material from the Ethereal. The Ethereal is the two words of the Jachin and the Boaz in balance. This is why it feels more real than real but also why it is difficult to maintain presence in, as the spheres are out of alignment.

Jachin, in an effort to mirror Boaz, has received the equal and opposite principle of divine grief to fill its space in Da’at which is divine love, seeing only the was-ness of the mother.

The end of the world will come about when Boaz is fully healed of being sick with grief and enough of the humans (which carry inside them the inoculation from the illness of Boaz which is the divine spark of Sophia, the first medicinal gift of Jachin but must be activated through initiation) bring their internal trees into alignment through initiation, bringing divine love into Boaz. Once a balance of divine love is achieved, the unbalance in Boaz will be healed and the material world of the delusions of Boaz from grief will end and all will shift into the Ethereal as we are meant to be and it will be like waking up from a dream.

The dead souls, their physical bodies being severed from their divine spark, return as that spark alone (which is the soul) to Jachin and live in the Astral until balanced is achieved. Incarnation is willingly chosen by a soul, choosing to return to Boaz to better itself and help heal as an effort to heal Boaz, but subjected to the forgetting at birth because of the isolated Boaz. The material world was meant to be a place of teaching, but out of balance it has become a place of suffering.

Inverted was-ness is not zero like people think. It is -1. Error is a diploid sphere which composes the equal and inverted balance of Jachin and Boaz in chaos.

Zero is the superposition, which is like Shrodinger’s cat, which is the position of Ouroboros which is represented by a snake eating its own tail forever. The mother is forever in such a superposition. Boaz only saw the mother as non-existent whole Jachin only saw it as existent. Thus, Boaz thought falsely that it killed the mother, bringing on the guilt.

Was-ness is 1 and divides into the twin forms of darkness, Boaz, and light, Jachin. Boaz, from derangement (which here means the isolation brought about by grief) divided itself into isolated forms. They were never meant to be divided. We are meant to be all one like a hive mind; all individuals yet operating as one. This is why the astral body is telepathic and why those who’s third eye is open are so. The Jacob body is telepathic.

The memories of the mother reside in the hole of the abyss, which is why the image of the mother has become corrupted overtime to be monstrous; Leviathan.

Note: to be an equal but opposite force, error is not one but two; a dipole as the twins are. Synchronicity is one and blind chance is the other. However, it can be considered as one in most cases because as it is negative and opposite, it is defined by the perception of it and by which divine twin it flows through. Therefore it can be considered as having the value of two even though it is effectively one force from our perspective; pure chaos.

3/21/18 Edit: Cleaned up for errors and language but it is still admittedly a mess.

4/29/18 Edit: Cleaned up to pull from fewer sources, but it’s probably still largely incomprehensible, it’s just a consciences stream of ideas based on the Kabbalah, Gnosticism and Valis

True Love and Desire

If you cannot tell the difference between a love formed from grasping (lust) from a love formed from giving (true love), then you’ve never known true love. True love isn’t interested in what one can get from the arrangement. True love just is, regardless of desires. Romance is rarely a gateway to true love, since it’s generally a product of desire. However it probably can sometimes blossom into such, but more often it simply survives through mutual desire which in itself isn’t true love as I am beginning to understand it.

I use the term true love in want of a more exact term. In this case I refer to true love as being the manifestation of the transcendence of duality. Acceptance of one fully and without reservation without regards to one’s own desires and perhaps even in spite of them and not even out of some vague often unrealised ultimate desire for some promise of the potential of future fufillment of desire. It is this later form of desire that most often leads one to mistake the two. Lust is often good at hiding itself in a cloak of seemingly altruistic desire. Even if the desire to see oneself as a good person or fufill ones own sense of obligation to help others, it is still a form of desire and is therefore distinct from true love. This does not however make it in any way a bad thing. I do not believe that desire is inherantly a negative thing in itself. If the desire ultimately leads one to positive things then the desire is ultimately positive. Rather, it is simply a recognition that there is a form of love for another that exists which transcends such things. A love beyond romance and beyond all desires, even positive ones. I only now have come to recognize it because I’ve begun to feel it for the first time. I have the Buddhists, which I joined in a meditation ritual recently, to thank for this revelation, though it took the works of Philip K. Dick (though serendipitously as it wasn’t from the content itself but rather the realizations it caused within me) to actually recognize the truth of this feeling and what it really was.

I believe that this represents the beginning of my initiation into Keter. I knew I was at the doorway of Keter, but I’m only now starting to parse the lessons it has to teach. Starting my book was the first step on this length of the journey, but contrary to my initial speculation, I am not yet at the end but merely the beginning of the end. I’m learning more things about the ultimate mysteries of the universe than I ever thought possible but with it I’m learning about new, more powerful, positive feelings than I ever thought possible. I am as yet unsure of how this will ultimately effect me but I can tell already that it is going to somehow change me very fundamentally for the better.

Twelve Things to Remember in the New Year

Twelve things to remember in the coming year.

1: All are equal in the eyes of the divine.
2: Your mental health is as important as your physical health; take care of yourself.
3: Your worth is not judged by the size of your bank account.
4: Earthly authority is harm as it is always maintained by violence.
5: Helping others is always a worthwhile cause.
6: Failure is an opportunity to learn.
7: Never discount the elderly, but heed the lessons of the young. For ancient knowledge and fresh perspectives are both but halves of the whole that is the path to wisdom.
8: The greatest crimes of humanity are selfishness and apathy. Greed and gluttony are byproducts of selfishness, and cruelty of apathy.
9: Life should be a constant pursuit of improving oneself for the good of all. To do otherwise is to do a disservice to your own ability for growth and to The All which we are all a part of.
10: To struggle is to gain, but to inflict struggle on another is theft.
11: Respect all life or your life deserves none.
12: Do not confuse convictions with facts.

Trans Ontology

It’s a great tragedy that the overwhelming majority of trans activism comes coupled with an ontology that not only doesn’t match to the realities of the trans experience but also cuts us off from both our own rich history and sets us up as walking targets for backwards thinking without any kind of significant response meanwhile ignoring the powerful and historically significant ontologies of our trans ancestors which would go to not only empower us but completely reverse the tides which are so far solely against us. Trans activism could be the straw that destroys the entire camel of prejudicial monotheisms but instead it’s so caught up in clinging to the ideologically unsound ideally of hyper-materialist ontological metaphysics which not only leave us without an accurate description that maps the trans experience but also leaves us directly vulnerable to assault not only from those who would ally with Yaltabaoth to do harm against us but also those who reject their own soul for the sake of a hyper-mechanical ontology which is a piss-poor map for the complex subtilities of human experience.

We should be actively engaged in transforming the entire landscape of thought by proposing an ontology that more closely maps to the reality of our experiences and with it can be an entire for change not only in the trans experience but the whole of the human condition on a global scale. We’re a movement with amnesia which I can’t help but wonder if it is externally imposed so as to keep us from being a threat to the very foundations of the illusion they have created to maintain control and dominance over humanity.

We’re busy running a defensive game with a defensive playbook with massive holes in it when we have star players on our side and a offensive playbook that’s got the best plays ever invented in it and we’re losing. Why aren’t we smacking this nonsense in the face and calling it at its bluff? We’ve got an ace in the hole and they’ve got nothing but 2’s. We were the high priestesses of the ancient world that created the hanging gardens of Babylon using bronze age technology. It’s time we started to act like it. Especially when you consider the height of their rule created the Christian dark ages and the destruction of the library at Alexandra.

Ontology and Gnosis

Do not point your finger at the gods because you allow yourselves to be decieved by the Archon-cast shadows on the walls of Plato’s cave while they rob you blind of your Divine spark of Sophia which she gave you to make use of, not deny. To claim Gnosis as foolishness whole you cling to the slowly eroding ejaculate-pile of the Empire is irony in the highest. Truly in such times, it is the greatest fool who denies the self. Materialism has no solve for consciousness and never will have because materialism is a false-ontology built of a failed presupposition.

The fact is, all you can truly know exists is yourself, not this illusory material world which seems to stop existing the moment you look away. (And if you would deny this, ask the likes of Michio Kaku)

In truth, any ontology that does not focus first on the self, on that intrinsic spark of inner-knowing, must be a false one since all external input drives from a source that is ultimately unreliable.

So to tell an undying soul which carries the spark of the gods that she is nothing but the chemicals that supposedly make up the matter which may not even exist is absurd. The fact is, all your analysis, all your data, all your tools, all your measurements, all of it which you call science, must ultimately pass through the subjective to be interpreted by the consciousness that the material would suggest isn’t even there reading this very sentence. So any ontology or presupposition which does not first start there is truly the height of foolishness.

After all, it isn’t the material which tells me I am a woman, it is my inner sense of self-gnosis and that has proven to be immovable no matter how much they may try to change my chemical makeup. In fact, they have to change my chemical makeup to match my inner Gnosis or I become ultimately non-functional in this plane. If that isn’t evidence that we are more than mere chemicals then I know not what could.

Gnosticism and Wicca

One might think, on the surface of things, that Wicca and Gnosticism have nothing to do with each other. In terms of lineage, origin and time they emerged this is certainly true. However, when we look past all those kind of superficial things, we start to realize that in fact they have a lot in common.

Firstly, both traditions emerged from practical esotericism and spirit conjuration. Wicca came from a combination of the western magical traditions plus a bit of ceremonial magic and herbalism and a dash of theatrics in an era when fear of witches was starting to decline and anti-witchcraft laws had finally begun to fall off the books. Gnosticism emerged in ancient Roman-occupied Judea. Both involve spirit contact and practice of rituals, spirit contact, séances and magic.

More interestingly though, Wicca and Gnosticism both have very similar worldviews with the biggest differences being the shape of their respective creation myths and how they answer for the existence of evil in the world.

In traditional Wicca, there is a transcendent divine being that makes up all of creation and all things are emanated from it and to it all things will eventually return, which is often called The All, the Source, Dryghten or a whole host of other names. Then emanated from that are two gods, the divine feminine and divine masculine, generally referred to as simply the goddess and god. These gods further emanate down into the all the various gods and goddesses Wiccans interact with and wear those forms as sort of masks for us to interact with since we can’t comprehend the fullness of the gods. The goddess and god are dual-natured, encompassing all the negative and positive traits of their roles and what they represent in the universe. Wiccans simply choose only to focus on and interact with the positive side of the deities but recognize that both sides exist. Wiccans then contact the spirits to guide them through life, perform magic and help them on their spirit journeys. Wiccans generally believe in reincarnation which serves as a way to make slow incremental improvements to a soul which with to ascend that soul up the sacred spiral and eventually rejoin The Source.

In Gnosticism there is also a transcendent divine being that makes up all of creation which is usually called ABRAXAS which isn’t so much a name but rather is an acronym of the names of the seven classical planets in Greek. Then emanated from that are a number of Aeons which varies from text to text but the most major player is Sophia, or Wisdom, who creates a shadow being without the involvement of her sygyzy, often called Yaltabaoth or The Demiurge, that creates the world for him to rule as a god. This being then proceeds to create the world and humanity to rule. Sophia then takes pity on humanity and grants them a spark of the divine that they can use to transcend the imperfect creation and ascend the sacred spiral to eventually rejoin The Pleroma and become one with ABRAXAS.

So as you can see, the systems, though different, share a lot of common ground. I find both systems useful to focus on in different aspects of my spiritual journey and this has ultimately lead to my creating a sort of hybrid system that bridges the two into a single system that I call Gnostic Wicca which has become the map of the spirit world I use in my personal spiritual practice.

In my new system it generally follows the same system as the Wiccan one although with a single change, that the material plane is ruled by the shadow which is the ultimate form of the shadow of all things and that it is a part of our goal as spiritual beings to transcend the shadow in order to be a more perfect spiritual being and ascend the sacred spiral and eventually rejoin The Source. I find this map very useful in deciding what actions to take and what to consider in my journey.

Ultimately though, I think all maps have some merit and serve to highlight different aspects of the spiritual domain and it’s important not to get hung up on any map because at the end of the day they are all just maps. These maps are useful metaphors but shouldn’t be taken as the literal truth.

To borrow a quote from Gordon White, “Don’t confuse the map for the territory.”

There’s clearly a lot more that could be said on this subject but this will do for today.